The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
