the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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