If i come over, it means nothing
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
