its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
