Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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