Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
