How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
