Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
