how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
