do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize