okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
