It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
