I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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