I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There r osticjed everywhere
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize