I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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