The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
