I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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