i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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