You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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