if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you didnt know i had herpes?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think my moral compass just broke
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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