Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
