Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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