Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
