I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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