More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
