her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i drank out of a bidet.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
