bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
