When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
