You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
