i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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