if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
