the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
