I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize