she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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