Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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