I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
