She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
