My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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