Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
