Is it normal to miss your booty call?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
