Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
