I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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