dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
