$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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