i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
