is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
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I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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