OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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