Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize