You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
