3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You ate ashes out of my bong
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
