Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
