You work out of a Hotel?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
