So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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