i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
