She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
