I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
