Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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