I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
